Voice response internet

The Obama Administration, long touted as the hippest, most tech-savvy in history, has announced a new innovation in internet technology: the voice response internet. Federal law mandates that all web sites switch to the new format by July 1, 2009.

Instead of using a computer with a web browser, this makes all internet sites available by rotary dial telephone, bringing the internet into reach of the 43 million Americans who can't afford a computer. Delays in printing one hundred million coupons for free rotary phones may make it necessary to change the transition date.

To access a web site, you simply dial the web site's number through a series of voice menus and prompts such as "Your call is important to us, please remain on the line as we process your request. Estimated wait time is seventeen minutes."

This aligns the internet's user interface with that of the rest of the government including the new health care bureaucracy being formed at this moment.

Al Gore was the chief architect of the new internet design. He said, "I invented the original internet and I reinvented government, so the next logical step was reinventing the internet to work the way Biden thinks it ought to work."