Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Police Profiling

President Obama launched legislation today making it a crime to profile police officers as racist simply for being law enforcement officers, requiring instead that charges of racism be based on behavior and fact.

Appearing at Duke's lacrosse field with Jeremiah Wright, the rabidly racist pastor of the church Obama attended for twenty years, the President laid out the case for this new legislation, saying "We recognize that it is wrong to assume that a citizen is a criminal simply because of the color of their skin, which is why the Supreme Court has ruled that police officers may not stop people solely based on their race. Today we are standing up to say that no one, from the President of the United States to a Harvard professor to that professor's students to a gangbanger on the street corner should assume that a police officer is racist just because they are wearing the uniform and doing their job."

The President did not directly mention the controversy swirling around the arrest of Harvard professor Henry Gates for disorderly conduct by three Cambridge police officers and the charges of racial profiling against the one officer who happened to be white.

Obama went on to explain that "It would be wrong for the President to impune the police as stupid racists without knowing the facts of the case, because that sends the message to young people that it is acceptable to disrespect police officers and that we will treat anyone who resists the police as a hero victim."

The President concluded by saying that "I hope this situation will be a teachable moment which will help people to understand the thankless job performed by our brave law enforcement officers each and every day, so that fewer Americas will walk around with a chip on their shoulder because 'As always, whitey now sits in judgment of me, preparing to cast my fate.'"

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Obama plan offers universal access

President Obama took the case for his government takeover of the medical industry to the people today, promising that he would guarantee universal access to waiting lists.

The President, reading from the teleprompter in his new office at GM headquarters, said "Opponents of this reform will tell you that we can't give equal access to everyone and that therefore we should settle for a broken system which denies access to millions of Americans. But my plan assures that all people, regardless of their race, religion, gender, age, union membership, income, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, and political affiliation will have equal access to waiting lists for medical care."

Obama, who has often repeated the claim that no one will be forced to give up their private insurance to join the government medical bureaucracy, responded to the objection that page 16 of the 1,084-page bill contains a provision making individual private medical insurance illegal by saying that "I am not that familiar with the House bill that I have been pitching for weeks."