Embarrassed by their, uh, consistent misunderestimation of President George W Bush, the mainstream media has, uh, announced that they will compensate by systematically misoverestimating, uh, Barack Obama.
All across the fifty seven states of this great nation, the word is going out in, uh, newspapers and on television that Barack Obama is the, uh, greatest genius ever to hold the office of President.
It is resounding through, uh, hospital wards as they give breathalyzers to young boys with asthma.
The tiny town in, uh, Kansas where ten thousand people tragically died in a tornado is abuzz with hope as the pure brain power of, uh, Obama is unleashed.
America's fallen heroes are marching in the streets in, uh, support of the stunning intellect of the new Commander in Chief.
In Selma Alabama where Obama's parents met, the news is met with cheers of pure, uh, unadulterated joy.
Obama's uncle who liberated Auschwitz has finally, uh, come down from the attic.
Even in the tiny and insignificant country of Iran, scientists and engineers, uh, hard at work on building a nuclear warhead breathed a, uh, sigh of relief as Obama offered to cancel deployment our missile shield if Russia would help us keep Iran from gaining a nuclear weapons capability.
Now that Barack Obama has actually taken office and must do more than, uh, read brilliant speeches off a teleprompter to display his oratory prowess, the media's misoverestimation campaign has reached, uh, new heights, as reporters blindly trust a man who can't figure his own taxes to fix the world's financial system, count on a man who doesn't know the difference between a strategy and a tactic to lead our military in a multi-front war, turn for legal commentary to a man who thinks that the first article of the Constitution defines the Executive Branch, and believe that the same government which runs the VA Hospitals can do a better job at running the nation's entire medical system.
Dazzled by the glow of his undisputed mental acuity, they never stop to question that the candidate who promised to end earmarks happily signs a bill loaded with hundreds of them. They don't bat an eye when the deficit quadruples and discretionary spending is doubled within weeks of Obama's arrival at the White House, and they believe that somehow, this reckless binge of spending will be the first that is not blown by corruption, fraud, and waste. Barack Obama is, uh, far too smart to allow that.