Today in a formal ceremony in Tehran, the Obama Administration announced the formation of a new "Strategic Alliance" with longtime friends, al Qaeda. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made a surprise appearance with the deal's broker, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and al Qaeda representatives Osama bin Laden and Jimmy Carter.
Clinton and Mr. bin Laden were seen embracing warmly before signing the historic agreement under a large banner proclaiming the new Administration's message to the middle east: "Obama bin Biden is your friend".
According to the terms the two parties agreed to, The United States will surrender Iraq to al Qaeda, stop monitoring terrorists phone calls to their sleeper cells in the United States, assure the comfort of any captured terrorists, and within six months either charge and try all detainees in accordance to the standard of proof required in criminal cases, or release them near the Sears Tower in Chicago. In return al Qaeda promises to only fight American soldiers in Afghanistan, where the real war is happening, and to only conduct beheadings and suicide bombings in accordance with the Geneva Conventions.
Hillary Clinton said that, "I think we got the better end of the deal because we were planning to do all that stuff anyway."