Fresh off of naming a "Car Czar", and "Energy Czar", a "Health Czar", and "Banking Czar", a "Mortgage Czar", and a "Bailout Czar", President Barack Obama today named Bill Clinton as the new "Stimulation Czar", in charge of implementing the new $787 billion pork bill in a way which stimulates the largest possible number of American people.
Former President Clinton delivered prepared comments at a White House press conference, indicating that he had a detailed plan for the stimulation of busty blond coeds. A reporter asked if his plan was "shovel ready." He chuckled as he replied, "Sure, if you're into that kind of thing."
Asked when his plan for the rest of the nation would be ready, Clinton answered, "Stimulation? They don't need stimulation. They are already screwed."