White House falling behind

A study recently released by Pear Analytics found that forty percent of the traffic on Twitter consists of "pointless babble" such as "I am having a sandwich". Only 8.7 percent of "Tweets" were found to have "pass-along value". Self-promotion made up 5.9 percent of the content, and spam only 3.8 percent.

This news gave rise to concern that White House press conferences are falling behind the curve. One member of the White House Press Corps said "We might have to switch to Twitter for our news. Here in the Press Briefing Room we only dream of getting pointless babble down to a mere 40%, and a real item with pass-along value has yet to be seen. As for self-promotion, that's every single word we get here."

The New York Times issued a rambling statement suggesting that the much higher signal to noise ratio of the alternative media might be responsible for the Times' slide into obscurity.